I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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