I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
