lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
