I showed him my bush... on skype.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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