What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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