People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
