It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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