i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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