Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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