Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
