he thought i was a dude.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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