whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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