I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
