I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
