I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
