this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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