She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
