You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
