i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
