i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I think I just sharted jello shots
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