stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
