so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
