I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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