It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
