Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
