I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
