We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
