ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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