she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so much tequila, so little girl.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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