so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
