I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
