Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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