On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
