sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
