If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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