Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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