He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
