tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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