She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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