There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
