he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
