whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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