You smell like stripper and shame
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
