Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
