did you get engaged???
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
