Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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