i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I seem to have left my pride at pride
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
