Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
