she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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