IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
