Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
