I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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